Hope for the Hopeless

Tired, always tired, and gaunt, you wouldn’t look in the mirror if it was thrust in your face because you knew what you’d see and it isn’t a pretty sight.

Faded, unwashed hair straggling around your face is the least of your concerns, but the eyes…Oh those eyes, the dark look of hopelessness looming there is what makes others look away, it is so, so…what it is? Only you can say for sure: lonely? Despairing? Filled with a lifetime of pain, heartache, and grief?

You are plodding down a crowded street, shoved or avoided by the hurrying throng that you hardly notice, but you need a fix: that is your consuming desire, a fix, a fix, but that is exactly what you wanted to avoid at all costs.

 For ten, fifteen, maybe even twenty years or more your life has been a mess of addiction, prostitution and other details known only know to you but where oh where can you get your next very fleeting thrill from a pill, a bottle or a needle?

Natalie, yes, that’s a real person, was facing the same desperate situation once.  After serving time in jail, you can imagine what for, she had nowhere to turn, no place to live but, maybe with her sister.

She had been wandering, drifting for so many years that she absolutely loathed it. After reaching the empty apartment Natalie wandered out to the balcony and thought of ending her life by jumping down, but it wasn’t far enough. Across the normally teeming street was a new building going up with scaffolding high in the air. That’s where she was headed: that would be a good place to leap from.

 For some reason there was no one around which was very unusual, as she crossed the street, however, a small black man came out of the shadows and handed her a handwritten letter while saying: ‘Jesus loves you’. She paused to read it and one thing lead to another until she found out about Heart Seasons.

If you live in New York City maybe you have heard about them.

Natalie found a group of people with as bad a history as hers. She found other ‘sisters’ who had tried to recover countless times from addictions, but here at Heart Seasons there was hope. Yes, there really was.

This center was different than many; it focused on Jesus as the only answer. The program was strict, really strict for they were expected to take part in several hours of Bible study every single day, and were not allowed to ever leave without an escort.

After a year and a half or way longer if they wanted, if a person stuck with the program they could graduate, if they were ready. Being ready meant being able to rent an apartment and have a job for at least three months. Most were terrified of leaving, but of course,

they weren’t abandoned, they had their support group, and best of all they had Jesus.

Are you like Natalie, desperate, despairing and certain you have tried every ‘solution’ out there?

There is hope. There truly is. Jesus can be your anchor from drifting back into sin. There are friends of Jesus who would love to reach out to you, also.

 Contact me, if you want and I’ll see what I can do to help. Look up HeartEase in the telephone book, or elsewhere. I’m trying to find an address for you.
P.S. I tried to find the website for you but the link appeared to be broken: try this:

The Bowery Mission Women’s Center at Heartsease Home

Whatever you do, never, never, never give up; there is hope. 

Lost Among Big and Little Bears

Lost Among Big and Little Bears

Okay, okay, I admit I am a bit of a tease and like to throw out random parts of my story for you to analyse. What do you think happened before and after this excerpt?

M eanwhile, Marita was much happier than Margaret feared she would be.  She was singing while unpacking at the logging camp where they had spent so many busy weeks the winter before.

The rest of the logging crew wouldn’t arrive for a few days but she didn’t mind. They were going to have a little vacation before work began.

Marita longed to hike over the crunchy softness of fallen leaves, and breathe deeply of the fragrant piney air, but that would have to wait. There were windows to restore to sparkling brightness, cob webs to whisk away, clothes to unpack and dinner to get onto the wooden plank table. Later there would be time!

As she picked up her dust cloth the ringing sound of an axe greeted her ears. Randall was preparing kindling for the cook stove. She smiled, grateful that he was doing his part. That meant he was probably in a good mood.

Although it was hard in some ways, she enjoyed life in the lumber camps. The women were generally more sociable there than in the big cities and drink was not allowed on site. When Randall worked so desperately hard in the crisp, clean air, he rarely woke up from one of those devastating nightmares which he incoherently would try to describe to her sometimes, leaving her feeling chilled.

Just then a chickadee trilled merrily through the open window and she whistled back. The bird winged off with Marita’s troubles and they fluttered away in the soft, balmy sunshine.

Three year old Emily caught her mother’s jolly mood and was frolicking just outside the door. A thin layer of golden aspen leaves was floating softly to the ground. Emily shuffled through them, watching as they mounded up on either side of her tiny feet. Oh how she delighted in the bright autumn colors!

Tall skinny poplars were springing up everywhere.  In the distance

massive cone bearing trees sort of took over, crowding out the kinds of trees that gaily fluttered their buttery-yellow finery.

Emily skipped over to a nearby clapboard cottage so similar in appearance to their own. She knocked at the door but there was no answer so looked in at the window but nobody was home. Not even the three bears invited her for tea!

Maybe after nighttime they’ll come, she decided. “Everyone will

come soon: for sure after nighttime.

She flung her arms out wide then twirled around a small sapling.

A small stuffed toy was partly concealed in the falling leaves.

She had discarded it earlier that morning while jumping out of the truck.

“Teddy!” she cried, “My teddy!”

Marita smiled while listening to the joyful voice of her small daughter then went to the bedroom to unpack the bedding and clothes.

Meanwhile Emily fiercely hugged her plump teddy bear, then dragging it by one fuzzy brown leg trotted off into the woods, after a red-wing blackbird who warbled merrily. Soon Emily’s lilting voice was also singing.

“Teddy, Ted-dee You are mine you see Teddy… Ted-dee You are mine, you see.”

A tiny footpath invited her to come deeper into the woods.

After skipping along for a while she beheld with wondering eyes a gurgling brook. It was so sparkling green and pretty that in seconds her socks and shoes were off and she was dangling her feet in the shining water.

Emily was blissfully unaware that a few yards farther on there was a deep hole with a swift undercurrent and if she had fallen in…

Forgetting her socks and shoes but clutching the precious toy, Emily continued her little adventure.

She tiptoed across the rippling stream by stepping from one smooth flat stone to the next.

“Eue, eue, that’s cold!” she would exclaim every time she stepped on another rock, but kept on going, not even aware that Teddy’s arm was trailing in the stream.

            One forked trail lead to another, each one more appealing to a little girl than the last.

She trotted on, sometimes stooping to sniff a late blooming flower, sometimes picking a leaf the color of pure gold.

Then she saw partly grown black bear padding softly through the trees.

“Oh Teddy,” she exclaimed, nuzzling his fuzzy cheek, “There’s your brudder!

“Here Teddy! Here Teddy!” she trilled. The cub tossed his head and ambled away.

“Teddy! Wait for me!” She heard a low menacing growl and for a moment was frightened. She stopped and looked around,

but wasn’t sure where the big grrr came from. She hurried along calling “Teddy, Teddy!”

A huge bear lumbered out of the woods and swatted the cubs’ behind. The baby stopped peering over its shoulder and scurried away from its mother’s broad paw. Emily hurried after it, stumbling

over twigs and roots in an effort to catch up. Her feet hurt badly but she so much wanted to hug that baby teddy.

Far away, little Emily’s mother was frantically searching for her, and even farther away: far from the wilderness and wide prairies in a distant city park a small child was clinging to an oak tree and wailing.

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            “Randall, I called and called, but I can’t see Emily anywhere. She was here only a minute ago.” Marita was nearly in tears.

            Randall shut off the chain saw and laid it beside him. He looked so lithe and manly in his plaid lumberjack shirt when he stepped onto the huge stump nearby and peered all around.

            “Funny how a little kid can vanish so quickly,” he muttered half to himself. “Marita you head up the road we came on and I’ll search around the logging camp. She can’t be far away.”

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After the bears disappeared from view Emily sat down right in the middle of the path and rubbed her feet.

“They don’t like me, Teddy.” she sobbed tears streaking her dirty face.

Emily was very tired. She dragged her toy bear to a mossy spot that made a velvety nest beneath the trees. While she drifted off to dreamland  perhaps an angel in glowing garments hovered over her.

            “Emm-a-lee! Emm-a-lee…”

            Emily stirred drowsily, whispered, “Mummy,” and went back to sleep feeling safe in her mother’s care. 

Will We Be Lost? F-Forever?

Oh, I know I know, I really should write something brand new but hey, I really want to get this book finished, so creep yourself out for a moment by creeping down the dark, narrow hallways with Tayletha and her Mom.
 Tayletha took two, then three candles from a stash near the door. After such a harrowing experience she wanted the comfort of light surrounding her. The fosser saw them studying the map Cedric had made for them and looked over their shoulder.
      “I can draw you a quicker route,” he suggested.
         Lydda and Tayletha looked at each other. Should they agree?