Mary is Afraid

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The following is an excerpt from my "Christmas book.'

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Mary has gone to visit her Aunt Elisabeth, but in spite of all the enjoyable times, she worried much about how the man she was engaged to was going to treat her now that she was pregnant. The worst he could do was have her stoned. Sometimes Mary's throat would ache with anxiety.


21 Av
August 9th

Dear Diary;
Amen Alleluia El’ Elohim! I am home again, and the best news of all: Yosef is willing to take me as his wife! Yes, you read correctly! Yosef is willing to take me as his wife! I will not be put aside after all! I will not have to endure the shame and awful humiliation of a divorce! I clung to him like I would never let go while the tears rained down my cheeks. He kept caressing my face, and wiping at the tears with his thumbs, saying “There, there, it’s all alright.”
I wasn’t the only one that was crying though. He turned aside once and used his sleeve to dry off his wet cheeks. He confessed that he was also relieved it had worked out this way. That told me a lot about how devoted he is to me, and to HaShem. After we got somewhat over our joyous reunion we sat down on the curved bench in a shady nook, and he told me what caused him to change his mind. It was a dream!
How thrilling! The Lord God, Yahweh, sent an angel to visit Yosef one night in order to convince him to marry me after all.
It makes me nervous to think HaShem is so closely involved in our lives.
Hilde is being more considerate towards me now that Yosef made his decision, and told her about the dream. Perhaps she cannot quite believe it, but if her precious Yosef is happy with me, that is good enough for her. Whatever he does seems to be about perfect in Hilde’s eyes. I wonder if I will ever act that way towards my sons.

Yaakov, on the other hand . . . (Sigh ... .) Why is he so critical of me? Maybe it would be better not to talk about him. It makes me too upset. It is enough that Hilde is more approachable, and Yosef, my Chavivi, Yosef, is just wonderful! In fact, I wonder if having that dream has made him even more tender-hearted and kind than before.

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