Showing posts with label heartache. Show all posts
Showing posts with label heartache. Show all posts

Tuesday, 8 March 2016

Better Than a Fairy Tale? Well Not Yet

Okay, I promised to tell more of my life-story so here goes.
So here I was just a young teenager with my heart torn and bleeding. I didn’t know it at the time, but that impassive indifference between me and the pastor of the church we had always attended had started a rift.
Things didn’t get better, right away, they worsened. Soon I was facing the worse day of my life, and that is not a trite statement! I still think it probably was, and it became a pivotal point in my journey. Dad asked, no, rather expected me to go along with him on one of his numerous electrical trips to far flung communities. I had gone along before with a certain amount of trepidation because of what he had attempted to do to me in the past. (Ya, and had done when I was younger.)
So here I was in some little farmhouse in the middle of Who-Knows-Where and I walked into the pale, nondescript kitchen, and stopped. They are talking about me. I froze. Dad was talking about giving me away, abandoning me like an unwanted kitten or puppy. Oh, sure, it was called fostering, but I didn’t think of it that way. I just knew he wanted to tear me away from the only family I knew and loved.

I don’t remember how I arrived there, but suddenly found myself in the woods across the graveled road with tall, very tall fir trees surrounding me. To say I bawled my eyes out isn’t trite, either. Don’t know how long I stayed there, but common sense told me I had to go back eventually, so I did. No one had missed me.
I wandered around, looking into the spare bedroom, etc. and wondered if this would be my new home.
Time was moving along so I looked in on ‘them’ in the kitchen. They were still talking, but I got the drift of it, the farm wife didn’t think it would be a good idea to take me in. I didn’t linger to hear more.
The news was too little, and too late. The damage was done. I went to the car and sooner or later Dad joined me. We drove off leaving my innocent childhood behind.

 P.S. Please check out my book. (Link below.) If you want to escape from a troubled past and hope for a better future, this may be the most comforting book you will ever read, 

Monday, 7 March 2016

Better Than A Fairy Tale


Do you want to hear a story that is so marvelous that you’ll think I made it up? I know for a fact that it is true ‘cuz it happened to me over forty years ago and the results ripple right down to the present.

Okay, where shall I start? Guess what, I have something in common with a lot of you. I come from a broken home. I know the anguish of seeing a marriage torn apart right in front of my eyes and feeling the effects in my own soul because it was my Mom and Dad.

Ours was one of those old-fashioned homes where you didn’t tell others what was going on behind closed doors: gotta put on a good front, y’know. So what was the result? Pain and heartache and groping in despair.

But I did reach out: I was not as reserved as some of my siblings so talked to our pastor, or at least tried too. He listened impassively, or so it seemed. I got more desperate: our home was falling apart right in front of my eyes, Mom and Dad didn’t love one another anymore, and I and my hapless brothers and sisters were caught in the vortex.

So I did what only a writer would do, I put my heartache in words, in poem form actually, and gave it to him when I had the opportunity. What did he do? He gave it back and said: “that’s very nice.” Did it help? Nope. (Wish I still had that poem.)

I see that this is going to end up being a whole lot longer than I had expected, but I promise you it does have a happy ending. What a trite word. Come on give me a better one, joyous, blessed, comforting,-- gratifying? No one word seems to describe what I went, and am going through.

But I know you have places to go, and things to do, so stay tuned until tomorrow, and yes, I’ll keep writing while you face your day.


 P.S. Please check out my book. (Link below.) If you want to escape from a troubled past and hope for a better future, this may be the most comforting book you will ever read, 

https://www.createspace.com/4837922

Tuesday, 1 March 2016

Where Are You Today


Are you in prison, or even in a dungeon, perhaps? Where are you in your mind, your heart, your spirit? Do you feel trapped, overwhelmed, pressured, frantic, lonely or in despair? Does it feel like no one understands, and maybe they don't either because of problems of their own? Do you feel like you have no one to turn to and every time you move forward you hit against a brick wall or a tangle of thorns? You're facing darkness, which causes frustration, a hopeless feeling while seeing no way out. "Someone put the lights out in the tunnel, but it wasn't me," you say. I've gone through that, too. Maybe not to the extent some of you have, but I know what it is like to be in a fog, in emotional distress, so may I offer you a hand to hold? Oh, my, I feel so inadequate to get my message across! I know there are folks out there who are suffering, they are part of the Broken Hearted Anonymous Communities and are on the fringes of life. I'd reach out my hands imploringly "let me help you, let me help carry your burden," but I am so inadequate. But, fortunately, there is hope. Even though those of us that care feel so helpless to do enough, there is someone who can help. Have you met Jesus? Do you know that He is the dearest, most faithful Friend of all? Did you know He is the great Burden Bearer, the Healer? Do you know that He is reaching out to comfort you? Did you? He wants to remove all those worries, vices, and what not all that you are carrying, replace them with His love and His peace then hold you close to His bosom. Did you know that? Will you let Him do it? I know, it takes a step of faith, but you can trust Him, I promise. I found out for myself. I promise, you can trust Him, and when you are ready to start walking again, he will take your hand if you let Him, He will guide you through the dark valleys, the storms and the desert. Trust Him. I know it's true because He did it for me. And oh, here's a great post-script. When you walk hand in hand with Him long enough, you will discover that as one song says 'there is joy in the journey, good times in the going.' In all their afflictions He was afflicted, and the Angel of His Presence saved them: in His love and in His pity He redeemed them; and He bare them and He carried them all the days of old. Isaiah 63:9 Afflicted: Troubled, Suffering, Hurt, Tormented, Plagued, Stricken, Aggrieved, Distressed

Where Are You Today


Are you in prison, or even in a dungeon, perhaps? Where are you in your mind, your heart, your spirit? Do you feel trapped, overwhelmed, pressured, frantic, lonely or in despair? Does it feel like no one understands, and maybe they don't either because of problems of their own? Do you feel like you have no one to turn to and every time you move forward you hit against a brick wall or a tangle of thorns? You're facing darkness, which causes frustration, a hopeless feeling while seeing no way out. "Someone put the lights out in the tunnel, but it wasn't me," you say. I've gone through that, too. Maybe not to the extent some of you have, but I know what it is like to be in a fog, in emotional distress, so may I offer you a hand to hold? Oh, my, I feel so inadequate to get my message across! I know there are folks out there who are suffering, they are part of the Broken Hearted Anonymous Communities and are on the fringes of life. I'd reach out my hands imploringly "let me help you, let me help carry your burden," but I am so inadequate. But, fortunately, there is hope. Even though those of us that care feel so helpless to do enough, there is someone who can help. Have you met Jesus? Do you know that He is the dearest, most faithful Friend of all? Did you know He is the great Burden Bearer, the Healer? Do you know that He is reaching out to comfort you? Did you? He wants to remove all those worries, vices, and what not all that you are carrying, replace them with His love and His peace then hold you close to His bosom. Did you know that? Will you let Him do it? I know, it takes a step of faith, but you can trust Him, I promise. I found out for myself. I promise, you can trust Him, and when you are ready to start walking again, he will take your hand if you let Him, He will guide you through the dark valleys, the storms and the desert. Trust Him. I know it's true because He did it for me. And oh, here's a great post-script. When you walk hand in hand with Him long enough, you will discover that as one song says 'there is joy in the journey, good times in the going.' In all their afflictions He was afflicted, and the Angel of His Presence saved them: in His love and in His pity He redeemed them; and He bare them and He carried them all the days of old. Isaiah 63:9 Afflicted: Troubled, Suffering, Hurt, Tormented, Plagued, Stricken, Aggrieved, Distressed

Friday, 19 February 2016

Alone and Suffering

This poem is my gift to you  if you feel all alone and as if no one cares.  If you can, print it out and tuck it in a safe place where you can always find it.

You are the one
That needs a home
A mother's love
A Daddy's care

You are the one
Who haunts my dreams
Disturbs my sleep
With your sad stare.

You are the one 
Who will be sighing
In some dark place
Alone tonight.

You are the one
I'd love to find
Take to my heart
And hold you tight.

Oh Precious Child
Just pray to God
And trust in Him
I know He cares

Oh Troubled Child
I pray someone 
Will Find you soon
And call you theirs.