My dear friend,
You declared recently that you don’t believe in God, anymore.I’m not shocked. Life can be pretty awful cruel at times. It simply is not always easy, and when one is going through a rough time like you are right now it’s nigh on impossible to believe that there is a God anywhere out there in the vast unknown, let alone that He cares about you way down here. You maybe feel like a grain of sand racing through the desert of time with no purpose, and no destiny.
Life hasn’t always been easy for me, either. There are times that were desperately dark; times when I could hardly survive if I tried to look beyond the very moment I was living in. Facing the whole day was too much. If I was clinging to God’s hand, I hardly knew it because there was a whirling storm all around me. Not once, not for one day only, in a vast sea of unrippled joy and gladness, but many times I used to feel that way. Too many times to count, and fortunately I don’t have to.
I said I wasn’t shocked that you didn’t believe in God anymore, but guess what, neither is God. Not even is He offended. He deeply cares about you…us. You may feel like your hand has slipped from His Big, strong hand, but that’s no big deal. Just trust Him just a wee tiny bit and He will carry you to safety. That’s really true. I know from experience. You may not see Him or feel Him during this time of heartache and despair, but someday, if you just keep (feebly) holding on you will find out that the storm is dying down and He was with you all along.
Admittedly there will be other storms, but let Christ be your buffer, He can handle them a lot better than you can, and when you look back you will see that He Did.