Sugar Cookie Trauma

Do you want to take a peek into the latest book I am working on?
 Lily really got into the spirit of things when the Christmas season rolled around.

“Here, Marita, don an apron, we’re going to make cookies today!”

“Cookies?” Marita looked blank as she tied the oversized apron around her slender waist.

“Oh, I mean, ‘biscuits’ .” Lily tossed Emily in the air and nuzzled her. “I keep forgetting what you Britishers call cookies.”

“Oh, I knew what you meant,” Marita responded as she slowly removed the breakfast dishes from the table. “”But aren’t we always making cookies? Like every two weeks or so?”

Lily’s round face beamed with happiness. “Oh, I mean Christmas cookies!” she lifted Emily high in the air again.

Marita’s face lit up then she looked downcast, then she pulled a half smile and got the eggs and butter out of the fridge.

“I suppose you want these things?”

Lily came back to the present with a start. She had been so focused on the strange mix of emotions on the young girl’s face that the comment had taken her off guard.

“Oh, yes, yes, you can get out the milk to. It’s so much more fun baking now that rationing is over.”

Now Marita’s face definitely did cloud over. She wipe the table then slowly arranged the baking supplies on top of the oilcloth table covering.  Lily watched her intently, yet discretely while she herself hunting for a favorite Sugar Cookie recipe and the other baking items.

Marita slowly poured boiling water into the white enamel  basin that already had cold water in it and abstractedly swished up the suds.  After washed a few items, her hands went idle and she stared out the kitchen window.

Lily’s brow furrowed, as she laid a blanket on the floor for the baby and gathered a few toys for her to play with. Every so often Marita got in those moods where it seemed like the sun had been sucked from her sky and Lily had sometimes even detected tears in her eyes.

She hummed softly to herself but at the same time prayed that God would be  with her daughter-in-law. Marita lifted a shining fork out of the rinse water and laid it on the towel to drain. She lifted a spoon then threw it back down, scooped up Emily and ran to the stairs.

Lily stared after her a moment before quietly finishing the dishes on her own.

The baking supplies were left unattended while she buried her arms and her face in the white chenille spread on the master bed. Only God could hear and understand the cry of her heart.

Only God could hear and understand the cry of Marita’s heart also. As she looked out the east window of her bedroom towards the distant gleaming tracks she longed with all her heart to see Alice just once more.

Those tracks, those endless tracks would eventually lead to the very city where little Alice was growing up. Without her. Without a doubt by now Alice had no recollection whatsoever of another mummy who used to fed her and cuddle her. Another Mummy who loved her so very, very much.

Marita never noticed when the tears started to stream down her cheeks but they were there. Alice, my little Alice. Maybe right at this moment, since it was later there, she was munching on a sugar cookie that Margaret had freshly baked and handed her. Without a doubt she was chortling and waving her hands with glee as her little ‘siblings’ entertained her.

Marita could hardly handle the ache in her chest, it felt like her heart was going to break. Emily was getting restless in her arms so she drew back the lace curtain and pointed out the ‘moo-moo’s’ to the little girl although she could hardly see them herself.

Ben staggered into view carrying two big pails of feed.

“Da-da””

Marita swallowed a sob and turned away from the view. Emily, and for sure not Alice didn’t know their real ‘Da-da’, and perhaps Alice never would. She put Emily down on the floor and she immediately scooted off to explore this wonderful new territory.

There was a basin and elegant pitcher on a stand in the corner of the room. Marita poured some water in it and sudsed up a wash cloth using Pears soap. After cleansing  her face, she felt a little better so scooped up Emily once again to go back to the kitchen to face whatever there was to face.